bumble-babe:

pleatedjeans:

tastefullyoffensive: [via]

I would be so happy.

crystal-chima:

Pixel cloudscapes

witchyredhead:

It’s the way she casually picks up her heels after beating the shit out of everyone in the room.

I can never not reblog this scene. It’s my favourite thing.

mixolydian-maelstroms:

bogleech:

what-are-you-doing-here:

goddessofcheese:

brofligate:

did-you-kno:

Source

There is literally nothing better than a sexy, badass lady.

CHING MOTHERFUCKING SHIH

This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.

She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean.  If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean.  Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death.  Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at.  Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.

Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.

Ching Shih said fuck that.

She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.

For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.

tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.

i will be as badass as she

You know, I heard of her, but I’d either forgotten or never heard that she grew old and retired having never been brought down or defeated ever.

She won being a pirate.

She got history’s high score.

Always reblog the best pirate of all times.

absentions:

it’s so rare that you meet someone who makes you feel so warm and happy like they are like sunshine and you just want them around all the time

thepatientlywaitingfox:

she-wants-the-eod:

highball2814:

reverendrevenant:

I could have used this information over the last 29 years of my god damn life

My mom taught me to pack like this and she gets mad when I come to visit and sees that I don’t use it.

I need to remember this for uniforms.

Oh my god, I am learning this ASAP. HOW DID I NOT KNOW OF THIS BEFORE?!

death

tyleroakley:

sixpenceee:

mudcrabmassacre:

sixpenceee:

lukes-furry-asylum:

sixpenceee:

Can you find the hidden mother?

In the 1800s it was very common for mothers to be covered in fabric during children’s portraits to hold the children and keep them comforted.

That’s kindof adorable<3

I’ve recently been informed that half of these children are DEAD

holy shit

let’s play “try to spot which ones are dead”

1st one, 6th one and the last one, I’m going to hell 

DEAD BABIES ON MY DASH NO

datsrad:

purplenightsky6:

I wanna be cuddled right now and have my back rubbed until I fall asleep.

tru

arcana21:

s-tu:

s-tu:

who needs swag when you have class

…ical music

I THINK I LOST A FOLLOWER FOR THIS

THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE AGAINST CLASSICAL MUSIC I’LL RAM MY TROMBONE SO FAR UP YOUR HOOHAH WHEN SOMEONE EATS YOU OUT THEY’LL BE ABLE TO PLAY THE SOLO FROM SIBELIUS’S SYMPHONY IN C

i need this framed on my wall